The
Inner Self
The struggles, guilt, and unanswerable questions
of a man who spent years living other people's lives.
For Years,
I Lived Other People's Lives
Many years have passed since Yuichi Ishii started his rental people business. He has played countless roles — father, husband, friend, lover, colleague — taking on any role that was requested.
But there is a suffering that comes with being the one who plays the part.
"At first, I thought it was just a job. But then a child hugs you and calls you 'Daddy.' In that moment, I realized this was far more than just work."
— Yuichi Ishii
What It Means to Act
An Actor's Performance
- Performs on stage or screen
- Can leave the role when filming ends
- A world of fiction
A Rental Person's Performance
- Enters a real family household
- Cannot leave the role, 24 hours a day
- The real world
The "father" Ishii plays enters a real household. The children believe he is their real father. He attends school events, shares meals, and says "goodnight" before parting. That time is not fiction.
"Am I acting,
— Yuichi Ishii's inner thoughts
or have I truly become a father?
That line gets blurrier with each passing year."
Seven Conflicts
The conflicts Ishii has faced over years of experience fall into seven categories.
None have clear answers. That is exactly why he continues to struggle with them.
The Identity Crisis
Who am I, really?
The Guilt of Lying
The weight of deceiving children
The Pain of Parting
The agony of goodbye
Emotional Boundaries
Between profession and true feelings
150+ Proposals
Why I keep refusing
Emptiness After Going Home
The loneliness of being alone
What Is Real?
A philosophical quest for truth
Ideally, a service like this
shouldn't need to exist.
But as long as there are people who need it,
I will continue.
Even after all these years, there are no answers. The conflicts never fade. And yet, Ishii continues to show up.
What Lies Deep Inside
The following seven stories delve deeper into each of these conflicts.
Identity
The moments when, playing the father in 25 different families, I lost sight of who I truly was.
Guilt
The guilt of lying to children, torn between deception and the desire to protect them.
Words of Parting
"Daddy, why do you have to go?" A record of the night those words pierced my heart.
The Boundaries of Love
The difficulty of drawing professional boundaries when you feel genuine affection for a client.
150 Proposals
"I truly want to marry you." The inner turmoil of continually refusing tearful proposals from women.
The Emptiness After
The hollow feeling of returning to an empty apartment after playing someone's ideal father or husband.
What Is Real?
Philosophical reflections on "authenticity" from a man who has spent years playing a role.
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